Answer: Greatest Challenge from Divorce

Reader's question: "What did you find to be the greatest challenge from divorce?"

Adam's answer:

I'd say the number one greatest challenge involves trying to maintain (or build) some type of normalcy for the kids. But really...what is normal? If the parents had a bad relationship which resulted in a failed marriage then the kids most probably need a major change from what has been their 'normal'.

The second biggest challenge (or maybe first if no children involved) would be trying to get back into dating. The longer you are out of it the more lost you may feel. I was married for 10 1/2 years and felt so completely clueless once I was back on my own. It is now six years later and I'm still largely confused based on the type of women I've been meeting.

I don't think I'm alone in this situation, but I do think I'm one of the few stupid enough to put the true stories of my personal relationship failures out there for the entire world to read. Maybe it wasn't the smartest decision, but so far it has received good reviews. I've been told by some that they laughed until they cried and another said she almost urinated on herself from the hilarious way I told some stories.

I'm glad people are enjoying it, but hey...that’s my life you're laughing at!

You can find "Relationslips" online through http://www.RelationslipsBook.com or by searching Amazon, Yahoo or Google for Relationslips by Adam.

Living Life or Just Looking On

There are casual observers and active participants in

life. I’d classify myself more as an active casual

observer or maybe a slightly active observer of the

casual life events happening around me.

Fairy Tale Culture of Love

It’s no wonder so many women are completely

screwed up in their love lives. Young girls taught

mind-corrupting tales of prince charming saving her

from it all and completely ignoring reality by ending

tales with “and once they met, they lived happily ever

after”.

They’ve been taught to seek and nurture unrealistic

expectations. This fairy tale mentality results in

skewed thinking and an inability to accept and

function appropriately in reality.

Many times even women in their thirties and forties

who have been through multiple relationships and

even years of marriages(s) will continue to vocalize

their desire to “meet my prince charming” “have a

millionaire come take me away from all this”.

Sure, some might say it’s a mere fantasy, but many

women are work themselves into an uncontrollable

frenzy wondering why they have missed the socalled

gravy train. At some point an individual must

overcome dependence on fantasy and has to snap

out of it, become and adult and make a conscious

decision to either live a real life or settle for being an

angry old maid. Happiness is missed, dreams are

dashed away and ultimately many, many lives are

wasted by frivolous pursuit of some totally

unobtainable ideal.

South Florida Masquerade

I see false lashes, pasted on nails, dyed hair,

weaved or glued extensions, fake eyebrows,

Botox inflated lips, chins & foreheads;

people dressed in weird clothing either way too large

or very uncomfortably too small.

Is it Halloween?

Nope.

It’s just another day in South Florida.

Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages are the way to go. Youthful eagerness and ignorance lead

us into too many poor decisions. Such critically important decisions should

more competently be coordinated, contemplated and organized by the

association of experienced and caring parents, family members and close

friends.

Benefits of Pessimism

I am a pessimist. Of this I am certain and unapologetic.

I was not always this way though; my pessimism developed over several years and from the result of an accumulation of life experiences.

Unbeknown to most people, there are in fact benefits of pessimism.

I do not expect much; therefore I suffer very few disappointments in return.

I rarely expect things will go smoothly or as planned, so I am rarely surprised and never upset when things go wrong. Whenever things do go unexpectedly, it is always a favorable result so my response is to be happily surprised. It is a very efficient system. This way of life provides a form of protective armor for me and I wear it quite comfortably.

Lesson Learned

October 7, 2002

I didn’t become a husband or father for reward. And thank goodness for that. I

understand that charity begins at home, but at some point the incessant one-sidedness wears you down. Perpetually burning energy without refueling or

having some reciprocal energy sharing can only be sustained so long; and will

by no means endure indefinitely.