Relationslips the book is now available!

Relationslips: Definitely NOT A Dating Guide

ISBN 9780984335510

Most people have a few stories about bad dates and failed relationships, but most people are not stupid enough to publish their experiences for the entire world to read. Here lie the bare revelations of one man’s astounding failures at meeting, dating and developing successful relationships with women. You’ll be entertained and amazed as the author leads you through a lifetime of bad choices and poor luck. Lucky for you Adam has retained his sense of humor and exhibits an extraordinary resolve in his ability to laugh at himself and his own shortcomings.

As the male brain drops and curiosity rises, a boy’s fear of cooties is overpowered by a natural drive to experience and learn. It’s not that girls become any less mysterious and foreboding, but now we just seem to care a little more about exploring those strange creatures and their eccentricities. This is where a life of trouble begins.

“My last boyfriend used to tie me up, gag me and get pretty rough. I left him after six years because I felt he didn’t respect me.” Christina revealed to me on our second date.

Ilene said “I know what you’re thinking.” I only responded “Yeah?” “Yes” she said, “you’re looking at my crutches.”

“I don’t think you mentioned that” I answered.

“Well” she explained “I was afraid it would scare you away if you knew about the amputation.” Emily confided in me “I have to tell you that I am not a real woman…but it’s okay.”

My response was “How the hell can you think something like that would be okay?!”

Her simple explanation was “Well I really do like to wear women’s clothing so it shouldn’t make a difference.”

I prepared a meal of chicken casserole, black beans and rice. Jennifer was impressed with both the aroma filling the house and the pleasant appearance of the food. As my luck would have it she was allergic to corn which I had used in making the casserole.

“You shave your lips?” Nicola asked. “No, not usually, but the razor slipped” was my reply. She pointed out “It must have slipped a lot because you still have stubble covering your face.”

“A little more alcohol and you’ll probably fall off the boat and make a fool of me!” I noticed that Lynn suggested my falling off the boat as more of an inconvenience to her rather than any actual concern for my safety, but considering what I’d already put her I kept my mouth shut.

I picked up a Bible and began reading verses of interest quietly to the person seated next to me. Jasmine jumped up and yelled “Stop whispering things about me!”

“Now that we are dating I expect you to be a real man and start paying some of my bills: Maybe my car payment or the rent” Marie explained to me on our second date.

Yuni read the sign aloud warning that visitors with heart conditions should not board the ride, then confirmed her decision to disregard the precaution by stating “I know my body and I’m going to ride it anyway.”

“I didn’t mean to lead you on by giving you my number” Kassie cautioned me when I called the number she had given me.

"You breathe too much" my loving wife stated.

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Relationslips: Definitely NOT A Dating Guide

ISBN 9780984335510

Searching for the One

I didn't intend my message to read like a sermon and

I will be the first to tell you that I am not an expert on

the subject. I have spent several years conducting

intensive research, numerous interviews with many

people from a variety of cultural backgrounds and life

experiences, exploring the situations we get

ourselves into and examining the extreme

differences between men and women.

We are very different creatures with varying ideas,

goals and perspectives on most everything. Even

with these vast gaps separating us we feel an urge

for companionship. We all want someone to love but

what gives us greater comfort, what we truly crave, is

the feeling that we are loved. The real desire is to be

on the receiving end of love.

The desire for these feelings can make us sense that

we are incomplete until we by chance find something

that feels like what we have imagined. Unfortunately

we don't really know what we are searching for and

we often allow our dreams to exceed reality.

Relationships are incredibly time intensive and take

a whole lot of work.

Very often we become frustrated by a sense of

imbalance between what we are giving and what we

are receiving. It’s all about perspective and that's not

something I can easily identify or prescribe for

another person as we are all different. What we are

today is a product of our cumulative life experiences.

Here I am preaching again! Sorry, but I'm just trying

to answer your question as clearly as possible.

Actually you touched on an extremely important

issue. If you are looking too hard; trying to make

every contact conform to your dreams and ideals

then you are actually building a wall around your

heart.

You cannot force the feelings of another and you

should not try to force your own feelings. Allow

things to grow with time. Plant the seed, fertilize the

soil and tend the field; yet remain patient. You can

block me and others who you believe may not meet

your immediate need, but every brick you lay to keep

others out will ultimately work to seal you in.

Again, I am not an expert and I am by no means

perfect. I am a real man who has felt love and loss.

I've experienced the quickening of breath as my

female partner comes into sight, felt my day begin

with the smell of her on my pillow; and I have also

suffered the extreme pain of betrayal.

You may find that you are really a whole lot like me:

full of doubt and fear, yet still searching for that

critically important and ultimately elusive missing

piece. The greatest challenge each of us will face is

to remain on track, keeping sight of your dreams,

while never ever allowing them to cast a shadow

across your own self respect.

Answer: Finding A Good Man

Reader's question: "Why is it so hard to find a good man?"

Adam's answer:

Many women are looking for the wrong things. Between family, community and cultural pressures many women have grown up with drastically unrealistic expectations. Little girls are indoctrinated to believe that a prince will ride by on a white horse and whisk them away for a life of happily ever after.

Unfortunately there is a whole lot of life after meeting someone and no mention of the hard work required to develop and maintain a successful relationship is made. The majority of people are very underprepared to take on such a serious

responsibility. Most people fail to discuss and consider the things that are most critical in planning a long-term commitment. Too much focus is placed on the wedding ceremony in which she can be the center of attention as the "princess for a day" and hardly any preparation is made for that loooong time of "until death do us part". The horrendously vague “happily ever after” causes greater harm by seemingly teaching that the game is won once you’ve met and married. There is too much critical information being ignored by ending the story at the part where the real important part begins.

Because I am a man and bluntly state these views many will quickly assume that I’m blaming women for these problems. That is not the case at all. This is a big problem compounded by both men and women I think it is a cultural problem that we continue to perpetrate through the toys, games, movies, television shows and literature we expose our children too.

None of us are perfect and men overall are probably even farther down the scale. The successful relationship must be a partnership. This partnership has to be built on a strong, solid foundation with a comprehensive plan for long-term success. Sure, this sounds more like a business plan than anything romantic, but modern times require that we take all this into consideration.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that thinks are so rosy and simple for men either. You are not alone in trying to traverse this challenging maze our culture has created. Have a look (and laugh) at one man's hilarious adventures by reading the book "Relationslips" available on Amazon or directly through the publisher's website: http://www.RelationslipsBook.com

Same Sex Civil Unions

Do gays really want their relationships to become

mainstream and run-of-the-mill? I’ve become more

excepting of the gay lifestyle as it has been forced on

us over the past couple of decades. I’m sure

indoctrination was the intended result. Now I see

that they demand the right to marry. Oh boy, what a

mistake. I say give it to them if they are so stupidly

inclined. They obviously know not for what they

wish. Don’t they realize that having the legal inability

to marry is actually an incredible benefit? I mean,

really, how many other benefits can there possibly

be from sleeping with another man. You both like

the same things in sports and entertainment, neither

is inclined to nag incessantly, you are both always in

the mood, you have the freedom from government

intrusion and legal ties resulting in the gift that keeps

on giving…unrestrained promiscuity! That’s all the

positives I can think of. The freedom from legal ties

and abundance of promiscuity are the only things

that I can find attractive from that lifestyle; as an

outsider looking in. If you take away those pluses by

instituting a legal avenue for gay marriage, getting

the government involvement in these peoples

personal lives and burdening their relationships with

legal commitments then they will undoubtedly lose a

whole lot of members. When you are in such an

enviable position with an exceptional set of benefits

you have to think very hard before initiating action

that will result in abolishing them. You might

ultimately regret it and others to follow will abhor

your meddling.

Answer: Can True Love Be a Numbers Game?

Reader's question: "Can finding true love be a numbers game?"

Adam's answer:

It could be that you are not yet familiar enough with yourself to understand that you may be attracted to the wrong kind of guy. That might sound like a simple answer, but fixing that problem may be a little bit more time consuming. I'm guessing that the book you referenced offers a method of reaching the desired conclusion. Your proposed theory of dating three guys simultaneously to aid development of an idea of what you both want to find as well as honing in on what you wish to avoid sounds like a triangulation strategy.

While such a method might work for some I can imagine that very many women would find themselves overwhelmed and suffer even greater confusion. Might I suggest that rather than intentionally making your dating life more convoluted

and complicated that you instead try spending some time alone in thoughtful review? I'm willing to bet that a better solution will result from your serious

meditation on what it is you want as well as what type of guy will compliment your particular style.

Remember that a successful relationship is a partnership so you have to take an honest inventory of your own assets and liabilities. Sure this sounds overwhelming, but don't make the mistake of thinking you are alone in the challenging game that modern relationships have become. Take your time; don't be too focused on the goal that you fail to pay attention to the road you are traveling.

Lighten up and have a great laugh by looking at one man's many failed dating adventures by reading the book "Relationslips." There are a whole bunch of us

struggling to keep our heads up in this same turbulent sea. Best of luck to you in your own RelationSlips!

“I am a part of all that I have met.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

This is true of me and I’ve carried this phrase in my head since twelfth grade English with Mrs. Spruill. (Those who have known me that long will be surprised I actually retained anything.) I am a result of all the people, education, experiences, friends and relationships I have come in contact with. This is equally true of everyone else. That we don’t all experience the same from childhood, family life, youth, friends, school and relationships is part of what makes us individuals. It is these same differences that aid our bonding as friends.

Differences can be topics of interest and causes of attraction. These differences can also be the roots of many problems. This is where the importance of open, honest, continual communication is extremely critical to prolonged success.

I am not an expert on creating or fixing these things or providing specific relationship advice. The real truth is that I’m a single guy, once previously married unsuccessfully. The revelations of my manuscript will probably do more to keep me single for life than anything else I could possibly do or any quirks I already exhibit. In the yin yang balance of life, I guess you could deduce that my failure at marriage actually provided an opportunity for me to showcase my success at divorce.

If my perfect match does exist….she is doing a great job of hiding. If she is out there and stumbles across my book before getting to know the real me then that

alone may possibly ensure we proceed no further.

Answer: Tired of Playing Games

Reader's question: "How do I find the right guy? I'm tired of playing games."

Adam's answer:

You may be attracted to the wrong kind of guy. That might sound like a simple answer, but fixing that problem may be a little bit harder. Women have a tendency to pursue the same time of guy, over and over, even after numerous failed relationships.

Part of the solution will require you to think seriously about what it is you want as well as what type of guy will compliment your particular style.

Don't make the mistake of thinking you are alone in this challenging game our culture has created. Have a look at one man's adventures by reading my book "Relationslips" available direct from the publisher at http://www.RelationslipsBook.com or search 'Relationslips by Adam' through

Yahoo or Google.