Thursday, November 26, 2009

Interpretive Communication

I met another young lady last week. She was attractive and seemingly intelligent based on the initial conversation. A good looking and educated woman: I naturally thought she had potential. So the conversation continued comfortably for a while until we finally met that inevitable first wall of awkward silence. Silence in and of itself is not a bad thing at all, but I have previously pointed out, it conveys different messages to the opposite genders. As a guy, trying to entrance a woman with your witty rap, silence is not your friend. It is never a good thing to give her a break in the conversation in which she can look around the room for other, better prospects as well as allow her a moment to collect her thoughts and formulate an excuse to get away from you. The whole thing really is a game. The confident, persistent guy is actually a performer. He performs a show which accomplishes a combination of entertaining and distracting the girl in an attempt to lead her into a zone of comfort in which she might eventually be able to actually see herself with him. If he can keep her off balance for long enough she will usually consent to sharing her phone number. I know it sounds like I’m explaining the rules of some kind of game, but the truth is that it really is a game. And as odd as this scenario sounds, it really does work. Women are more emotional than logical so they can be won over by the mere passage of time. Investing more time in conversation and greater effort in learning about her will usually pay off. She will depart the encounter with a positive feeling and there is a
chance that it might last until you actually call her, unless you tarry too long in reconnecting. The spell does wear off with time and sincerity seems to erode with delay.

In what I believe must have been an attempt to restart the conversation by impressing me, she bragged that she had just recently earned a certificate in "interpretive communication." A response was expelled from my mouth before my brain was able to review it as I inquired “Why would you need to go to school for that?”
“What do you mean?” she asked with a look of confusion.
“I thought all women were born with that ability.” I said.
“It’s a professional course” she stated bluntly.
“How in the world can that be a course?”
She was not impressed with my sincerity, but it got worse as I
endeavored in my effort to understand her odd course of study.
So I continued: “I’ve never met a woman who didn’t think she
knew what a man’s words ‘meant’ even though her interpretation was often nothing near the originally intended significance of his words.”

For example:
“I need some time alone = I don’t want to be with you.”
“What’ your friends name = I want to make out with your hot friend.”
“I like your haircut = I better say something nice ‘cause it’ll take a long time to grow out.”
“That dress suits you = You look fat because you really are.”
And so on in this ambit.

As you can imagine, this lady did not share the joke and our
encounter quickly fizzled. At least I enjoyed a laugh, but I
wonder whether there is any woman out there who can handle
my wit. I like to laugh a lot, but I don't try to make a joke out of
everything. But, let me warn you, if you claim to be trained in
some form of the psychic art it will probably bring a smile to my
lips and be followed by a slew of questions about the subject,
your education and actual abilities.

So be prepared.