Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Men and Women Don't Hear the Same Thing in Silence

This once again exhibits the extreme difference between men and women. A man
can sit quietly on the sofa, in the car or relaxing on the patio with his preferred female companion without a word being spoken. The silence allows the man to relax and his comfort is definitely enhanced by the knowledge that he has a lovely, faithful companion beside him. These are the times when a man can ponder
how wonderful it is to actually be in a relationship and appreciate the fact that he
has found such a woman with whom he can share such a feeling of partnership. But that same woman, sitting so very near to that relaxed, content man, is not experiencing the same comfortable bliss. Instead, her female mind is racing through scores of scenarios concerned with why he isn’t talking:

Who is he thinking of?
What is he angry about?
Is he going to dump me?
Does he have another woman?
Is he unhappy here?
Is he feeling trapped and is now searching for a way to escape from me?
Is he thinking of something I did which upset him?
Is he remembering the time I didn’t do that thing he wanted me to do?
Is it because of something I said?
Is it because of something I haven’t yet told him?
Is he wondering how much I spent on this dress?
Does he think this dress makes me look fat?
The list is probably without end, but I am working with a man’s brain so I can only must a short compendium of similar worries I’ve heard previously.

I was myself in just such a situation once and it pains me to admit that it was actually me who broke both the silence and the sentiment. “My favorite time with you is when you’re not talking” I said sweetly. Being the astute ladies man that I am quite well known to be, I actually employed this very line on a young lady. Needless to say, it didn’t go over very well. You can pour a half-ton of sweetener of your choice on a pile of crap, but it will never convert it into a desirable treat.

But I’d like to take this opportunity to explain to you the true meaning behind the statement which I never had the chance to explain to my fleeing ex lady friend. What I actually intended was a compliment. It was meant to be an observation that our relationship had reached a point where we didn’t feel the constant need
to impress and entertain each other. We were comfortable with the knowledge that we were both where we wanted to be and we could share a moment of silent togetherness that clearly expressed, even with the absence of words, our devotion and contentment. That was when I had to open my big mouth and ruin it by interjecting my totally unnecessary words of not-too-well-thought-out wisdom.