Sunday, January 23, 2011

Mourning Glory

It is customary for many people to mourn and cry at a funeral. We’ve all seen this in our lifetimes and we can certainly understand the great feelings of loss suffered by family and loved ones. Surely we too have each experienced similar losses. To us, the fact that some cultures celebrate the departure of family members from this life is foreign. But with thorough consideration, we can understand that with all the misery in this Earthly life, they celebrate their loved one’s release from this difficult trial period and expected move to something greater.

So why do we not have similar celebrations when a friend or family member is delivered from a bad marriage? It seems to make more sense to me that we celebrate this new, second chance in life, in this same dimension with even greater vigor than when one moves on from this life. Actually, I believe it should be an even larger celebration because the guest of honor in this instance is still with us. There are no regrets of things never spoken or apologies never offered… because the guest of honor is still among the living and partying right alongside us!

One concern might be that it is not the best time to be throwing a huge party when nearly half of divorcees suffer immediate financial devastation. Think of it as many do in case of the funeral party: if the subject’s estate cannot afford it, then other people (family, friends, loved ones) chip in to pay for it. You cannot argue that there is much more to celebrate at this renewal than at the fiesta of final goodbyes.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Games: Just Fun or Truly Dangerous?

Three or four times I’ve arranged an offline meeting with a girl I met online only to be stood up.

I’ve met several women online and later dated them: some successfully and others not so much. But what I cannot understand is the motivation behind the three or four times I’ve made arrangements to meet offline and wound up being stood up. I have always wondered whether I was being tricked by a co-worker or an angry ex. Maybe it was even a stranger who got some weird thrill from playing this silly game. Simply some run-of-the-mill nut job with too much money and too much time on his or her hands to mentally focus on anything more productive.

I don’t really see where the enjoyment could come in unless you were actually able to watch the reaction of the fellow being deceived. That brings up other concerns. What if this person is actually a serial killer randomly selecting his or her next victim from an online chat room? Could it be someone whose significant other became involved in an online romance and now he or she is seeking revenge with which ever poor sod is the first to agree to meet outside the entrance of a local pub or eatery?

If you’ve experienced similar tricks, did you ever wonder if you might be the victim of some evil game of deceit or were you possibly being set up for easy sniper bait? Who knows or understands the depravity of the human mind? As always, you should proceed with extreme caution when meeting someone from the Web. So many people hide their true selves when creating an online persona. You could very possibly be going on a date with the attractive avatar of a vicious ax murderer.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Understand What are You Looking For

Those ideas you developed about what was cool and attractive as a teenager are probably quite the opposite of what you really want to pursue later in life: a rebellious joker, avid smoker, possible doper who spend more time detailing his car or brushing her hair than studying for exams. Those same traits are probably not what you wish to attach yourself to for the long term.

Guys in high school were often cool…but it was temporary. The same goes for girls. The one’s who were the hottest most sought after the freshman year were very often burnt out and much less interesting by graduation day. Peak too soon and your shelf life is greatly reduced. The faster you drive the quicker you burn through the tank.

Priorities and perspectives change as we grow up and learn about the world. At least they should. Some women are still attracted to the bad boy, leather jacket, long haired, earring wearing type that stood out from the crown in secondary school. Individuals who have continued on these same lines are too attached to the past and basically have not evolved or matured: maybe as a result of bad experiences, feelings of inadequacy or just a strong desire to relive the old days. There are men who are still attracted to the cute, ditzy cheerleader type as well: those who are willing to go out in public with excessive makeup, perfume and hairspray, accompanied by too little clothing revealing way too much skin. Neither of these scenarios are meant to be cruel, but rather to examine how our interests change.

Back in school you didn’t consider who would be the best provider, strongest breadwinner, who you could trust most, which might endure the test of time. No, back then we were attracted more to high profile, stylish, flashy, fast, wild and full of thrills. After several years of riding this roller coaster, nausea will inevitably set in and most of us will snap to reality and recognize that it’s time to settle down from such a volatile lifestyle. I don’t want to sound like I’m knocking fun, but at some point we should realize that there are consequences to prolonging this youthful exuberance and that, like it or not, we have to settle down and manage the string of responsibilities that are continually being hitched to us as we proceed through life.

Monday, January 3, 2011


At the commencement of a new calendar year, immediately following this spate of exhausting holidays, our ears continually bombarded with news of disasters and gloom from around the globe as well as negative connotations for our nation’s future, let us not forget what is truly most important and behave like a star. No, don’t look towards Hollywood for guidance, I mean the other kind of star. Position yourself at the nucleus of a positive universe. Pull into your individual orbit those people, values and beliefs most significant to you. Surround yourself with the family and friends most critical to your existence and shine on them like you never have before. Set the example. Provide the assistance, support and influence they require and these same blessings will reflect back upon you. Abandon selfishness and extend a hand. Reach out to a family member; call a friend from days long gone by. Our time here is limited, but our hearts have infinite capacity for love and friendship. May God bless you all.

“If I were a red bird flying high above the sea,
I would want some other bird to come and fly with me.
Though circling way up high beyond this troublesome land,
man could not survive without the touch of a helping hand.
A hand that guides you; if you’re lost shows you the way home.
But you might cry and so would I to find ourselves alone.
So throughout your long lived days be needed as a friend,
for someday you may need someone to
journey with before you reach the end."

{Excerpt from a poem titled “Alone” by Alvin Willie}