I have a tendency to remain too long in relationships even after realizing it isn’t going in a desired direction. I’m more passive in a relationship and will go along just to avoid conflict and keep the other person happy. I’ve been accused of being too nice by some friends. Eventually my discomfort builds up and I require an escape.
Maybe the girl becomes more attached than I intended or realized and before I know it we are skewed in our efforts to enjoy each other’s company. When our hopes and desires don’t match, then every conversation is dominated by suggestions of how we can fix it and what else we might try to create something that we both realize clearly isn’t present. This of course makes spending time unpleasant, uncomfortable and ultimately undesirable. Communication wanes and the whole thing eventually dissolves; often without solid closure.
I had a new thought though: maybe it is I who is the clingy one. Even after repeated failures I continue trying until frustration eventually overthrows the most intense efforts and interests. There are women who I dated years ago and some I haven’t seen in decades, but I still remain in contact with their close friends or immediate family members. Is it odd that twenty years after ending a relationship with a young lady I’m still sending greeting cards, talking on the phone and sharing meals with their father, brother, sister, cousin, niece or grandparent?
If I’m clinging to anything then I’m sure it is the good memories I have from youthful days. But could the extent to which I maintain an attachment be considered obsessive?