Tuesday, July 28, 2009
When will women become as tired from saying it as I am of hearing it? Don’t expect me to defend the lies and crazy antics of all men here. I would never attempt anything as farfetched as that. I know that many men willingly behave as swine and rampantly pursue women wrapped in cloaks of mistruths.
What I wish to address is the fact that so many women repeatedly fall for this scam. One of the first things you must do to overcome a bad habit is to admit that you suffer from it. Many women explain their dismal record by employing the excuse that men are repeatedly tricking them. You can only use that one so many times! You might be tricked once or even twice, but failure to learn a lesson from the experiences can only be blamed on you. By the time a woman develops the man-hating opinion that “men are all the same” she has voluntarily chosen to ignore her own failures and place the entire blame on the entire population of the male subjects in our species. This is not only ridiculous, but adamantly biased.
When a woman declares that “all men are the same” she is speaking only of her own experience (and usually from a culmination of anger and ignorance). This may be based on either a single or multiple encounters. The real root of the problem is that women will repeatedly choose to engage with the same type of man. Additionally she will conduct herself in the same way she has previously behaved. This exercise is futile and will ultimately progress to similar results.
By her choices and her actions she actually creates a similar experience over and over again. If you are repeatedly finding the same problems with different
prospective partners, then you cannot ignore the possibility that the problem may lie with you. This is a harsh reality for many to accept. While it is not necessarily true in all cases, it is imperative to at least consider the possibility so that you should perform a clear and honest evaluation of yourself and the processes you follow. If different men are running away from you then you have to consider that it may be you that is running them away. Just look at me.
My book reveals a lifetime of unsuccessful long-term relationships and in the end I had no choice but to take a long, hard look at myself and accept the probability that I may be the problem. I am not above it all. Heck, I might even have been the one to create it!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Relationslips: Definitely NOT A Dating Guide
Most people have a few stories about bad dates and failed relationships, but most people are not stupid enough to publish their experiences for the entire world to read. Here lie the bare revelations of one man’s astounding failures at meeting, dating and developing successful relationships with women. You’ll be entertained and amazed as the author leads you through a lifetime of bad choices and poor luck. Lucky for you Adam has retained his sense of humor and exhibits an extraordinary resolve in his ability to laugh at himself and his own shortcomings.
As the male brain drops and curiosity rises, a boy’s fear of cooties is overpowered by a natural drive to experience and learn. It’s not that girls become any less mysterious and foreboding, but now we just seem to care a little more about exploring those strange creatures and their eccentricities. This is where a life of trouble begins.
“My last boyfriend used to tie me up, gag me and get pretty rough. I left him after six years because I felt he didn’t respect me.” Christina revealed to me on our second date.
Ilene said “I know what you’re thinking.” I only responded “Yeah?” “Yes” she said, “you’re looking at my crutches.”
“I don’t think you mentioned that” I answered.
“Well” she explained “I was afraid it would scare you away if you knew about the amputation.” Emily confided in me “I have to tell you that I am not a real woman…but it’s okay.”
My response was “How the hell can you think something like that would be okay?!”
Her simple explanation was “Well I really do like to wear women’s clothing so it shouldn’t make a difference.”
I prepared a meal of chicken casserole, black beans and rice. Jennifer was impressed with both the aroma filling the house and the pleasant appearance of the food. As my luck would have it she was allergic to corn which I had used in making the casserole.
“You shave your lips?” Nicola asked. “No, not usually, but the razor slipped” was my reply. She pointed out “It must have slipped a lot because you still have stubble covering your face.”
“A little more alcohol and you’ll probably fall off the boat and make a fool of me!” I noticed that Lynn suggested my falling off the boat as more of an inconvenience to her rather than any actual concern for my safety, but considering what I’d already put her I kept my mouth shut.
I picked up a Bible and began reading verses of interest quietly to the person seated next to me. Jasmine jumped up and yelled “Stop whispering things about me!”
“Now that we are dating I expect you to be a real man and start paying some of my bills: Maybe my car payment or the rent” Marie explained to me on our second date.
Yuni read the sign aloud warning that visitors with heart conditions should not board the ride, then confirmed her decision to disregard the precaution by stating “I know my body and I’m going to ride it anyway.”
“I didn’t mean to lead you on by giving you my number” Kassie cautioned me when I called the number she had given me.
"You breathe too much" my loving wife stated.
Want to review this book or make a comment?
Go to www.RelationslipsBook.com
Relationslips: Definitely NOT A Dating Guide
Monday, July 13, 2009
I didn't intend my message to read like a sermon and
I will be the first to tell you that I am not an expert on
the subject. I have spent several years conducting
intensive research, numerous interviews with many
people from a variety of cultural backgrounds and life
experiences, exploring the situations we get
ourselves into and examining the extreme
differences between men and women.
We are very different creatures with varying ideas,
goals and perspectives on most everything. Even
with these vast gaps separating us we feel an urge
for companionship. We all want someone to love but
what gives us greater comfort, what we truly crave, is
the feeling that we are loved. The real desire is to be
on the receiving end of love.
The desire for these feelings can make us sense that
we are incomplete until we by chance find something
that feels like what we have imagined. Unfortunately
we don't really know what we are searching for and
we often allow our dreams to exceed reality.
Relationships are incredibly time intensive and take
a whole lot of work.
Very often we become frustrated by a sense of
imbalance between what we are giving and what we
are receiving. It’s all about perspective and that's not
something I can easily identify or prescribe for
another person as we are all different. What we are
today is a product of our cumulative life experiences.
Here I am preaching again! Sorry, but I'm just trying
to answer your question as clearly as possible.
Actually you touched on an extremely important
issue. If you are looking too hard; trying to make
every contact conform to your dreams and ideals
then you are actually building a wall around your
You cannot force the feelings of another and you
should not try to force your own feelings. Allow
things to grow with time. Plant the seed, fertilize the
soil and tend the field; yet remain patient. You can
block me and others who you believe may not meet
your immediate need, but every brick you lay to keep
others out will ultimately work to seal you in.
Again, I am not an expert and I am by no means
perfect. I am a real man who has felt love and loss.
I've experienced the quickening of breath as my
female partner comes into sight, felt my day begin
with the smell of her on my pillow; and I have also
suffered the extreme pain of betrayal.
You may find that you are really a whole lot like me:
full of doubt and fear, yet still searching for that
critically important and ultimately elusive missing
piece. The greatest challenge each of us will face is
to remain on track, keeping sight of your dreams,
while never ever allowing them to cast a shadow
across your own self respect.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Reader's question: "Why is it so hard to find a good man?"
Many women are looking for the wrong things. Between family, community and cultural pressures many women have grown up with drastically unrealistic expectations. Little girls are indoctrinated to believe that a prince will ride by on a white horse and whisk them away for a life of happily ever after.
Unfortunately there is a whole lot of life after meeting someone and no mention of the hard work required to develop and maintain a successful relationship is made. The majority of people are very underprepared to take on such a serious
responsibility. Most people fail to discuss and consider the things that are most critical in planning a long-term commitment. Too much focus is placed on the wedding ceremony in which she can be the center of attention as the "princess for a day" and hardly any preparation is made for that loooong time of "until death do us part". The horrendously vague “happily ever after” causes greater harm by seemingly teaching that the game is won once you’ve met and married. There is too much critical information being ignored by ending the story at the part where the real important part begins.
Because I am a man and bluntly state these views many will quickly assume that I’m blaming women for these problems. That is not the case at all. This is a big problem compounded by both men and women I think it is a cultural problem that we continue to perpetrate through the toys, games, movies, television shows and literature we expose our children too.
None of us are perfect and men overall are probably even farther down the scale. The successful relationship must be a partnership. This partnership has to be built on a strong, solid foundation with a comprehensive plan for long-term success. Sure, this sounds more like a business plan than anything romantic, but modern times require that we take all this into consideration.
Don't make the mistake of thinking that thinks are so rosy and simple for men either. You are not alone in trying to traverse this challenging maze our culture has created. Have a look (and laugh) at one man's hilarious adventures by reading the book "Relationslips" available on Amazon or directly through the publisher's website: http://www.RelationslipsBook.com