Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Turkey Day Power Play

Thanksgiving is a holiday I look forward to, mostly for the food and fellowship…in that order. It seems it is a difficult time for any relationship I might be in as well. In recent years the Thanksgiving holiday has coincided with the serving of divorce documents; a date embarrassed me in front of close friends then asked for money to fight her pending drug conviction; and now this year the girl I was seeing backed out of long-planned event and had the feast with someone else! Oddly enough, I still think of this holiday as one of my most favorite days of the year.

My most recent Thanksgiving adventure began back in July when I made plans to have the big meal with my very good friend Lenny and his family. I planned to take my kids and my girlfriend. Everyone involved was informed and eager to go. The first obstacle was presented by my ex wife when she declared that the kids could not go as long as I was “taking that woman” with me. I expressed my disappointment, but didn’t argue with her decision (since I knew that was what she was ultimately after anyway).

In October, my girlfriend and I had lunch with the couple who was hosting the upcoming meal. My girlfriend even volunteered to prepare a dish for the feast. Everything seemed in order for a great holiday as we entered into the later part of November. Then, just one day prior to Thanksgiving, the girl I’d been seeing since January asked what I was doing for the holiday.

“Going to Lenny’s house of course.”

“Why do you always go to his house?”

“Well, for one, there ain’t no food at my place; and two, he invited us and I guarantee there will be a whole lot of really delicious food.”

“I don’t want to go.”

“Why not?” I asked with surprise.

“Because I want to spend the holiday with you.”

“That’s perfect, I’ll be at Lenny’s.”

“You’re not going to spend it with me?”

“If you come with me you will. What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know why you can’t just spend the day with me. But you’d rather go to your friend’s house.”

“Why are you acting like this? This has been planned for months.”

“You never told me about it.” She stated.

“What? Of course I did. It’s been on the schedule since July. Lenny and his wife even told you about it when we had lunch together over a month ago.”

“No, this is the first I’ve heard of it” she insisted.

“Okay” I relented not wanting to argue over something so stupid “I promised to go and I’m going.”

“You’re not going to spend Thanksgiving with me?”

“Not if you’re staying home. I’m going to eat with my friends.”

I went home that night sort of expecting her to call and change her mind. She didn’t. On Thanksgiving day I went to my friends’ house. The girl called about 5:00pm and asked if I was coming over.

“I’m at Lenny’s house and we havent’ eaten yet.”

“You still haven’t eaten?”

“No, not yet. I’ve been waiting all day and am starving. I think we’re waiting on one last person to arrive, then we’ll begin the meal.”

“Well I already ate” she informed me.

“Really?” I asked. “What did you have?”

“Turkey, ham, dressing, potatoes and some desserts.”

“What?!” I asked in surprise. “Did you cook?”

“No. I went to a friend’s house.”

I now had another confusing clue as to why she’d refused to come with me today, but I didn’t want to discuss her alternate plans at that time.

“Are you coming over later?” she asked.

“I don’t know. We haven’t begun the meal yet and I won’t want to leave right after. Plus we are having a few drinks.”

“I want to see you.”

“Well, I’ll give you a call when I leave here and if it’s not too late I’ll stop by. Are you working tomorrow?”


“Okay, I’ll give you a call later.” I promised.

Later came quickly. We ate a lot and then had a few drinks. When I realized it was nearing 8:00pm I tried to call, but my iPhone wasn’t working. The screen was frozen in the on position and my attempts to reset it by tapping the menu button didn’t work. I tried the power button on top, but the phone still didn’t respond. I assumed it just needed time so I stuck it back in my pocket and returned to conversing with friends. An hour later I pulled it out and found the exact same thing. I showed the guy next to me and told him it had been in that state over an hour. He removed the iPhone from its case and holding down both the power and menu buttons successfully reset the device. After a restart I was going to make the call, but saw that it was now nearing 10:00pm. Knowing that she had to work early, I decided not to call and simply sent a quick text explaining that I was still at the party and had been unable to call earlier because my phone was frozen. I realized that it would sound like a poor excuse, but I thought telling the truth would be better than neither calling nor texting at all. I never received a response.

The following day I called and left a voice message in the morning. About lunch time I sent another text since I assumed she was busy at work. I never heard from her again.

My reading on the situation is that her weird refusal to participate in Thanksgiving Day plans had nothing to do with her lack of interest in the holiday and everything to do with her attempt to pull a power play. She wanted to see if I would turn my back on friends at her request and forgo my long planned activities just to spend the day with her. She got her answer, though I’m certain it wasn’t what she expected. I got my Thanksgiving meal and it was exactly what I was expecting, though I was disappointed that two crazy women had interfered with my hopes to spend the day happily with friends and my kids.