Saturday, May 14, 2011

No Free Parking

How far has our society fallen when considering the low self esteem of our young ladies? What has caused today’s young women t think of themselves as nothing more than parking meters?

No sooner do I attempt to commence a conversation with a young lady and she has to interrupt me with a demanding: “Buy me a drink.” Clearly she has failed to keep up with the pace of conversation and is probably completely ignorant of the subject of whatever interesting information I am so amicably sharing with her. Instead, she boasts a total lack of interest and proclaims that if she must be so burdened to listen to my drivel then I will have to feed the meter by buying a drink; otherwise this uninterested pair of female ears will move on.

I have been ignored before; and I have been ignored quite a lot. I have been married and I’ve also had friends that ignored me just like a spouse would, so it is nothing new to me. I really don’t like the idea of paying for someone to listen to me at this point in my life. In fact, I have become so accustomed to talking with myself that I sometimes do it in public. I don’t mean to and I stop as soon as I realize it, but it is so much a part of my life now that I can’t seem to completely prevent it. But I’m not crazy; not at all. It isn’t as if I’m talking to someone who isn’t there or an imaginary friend: I’m talking with myself and I am right there. I hear myself and I enjoy both sides of the conversation. Sometimes only half of the conversation is audible as the other side is inside my head, but frequently both sides of the discussion are spoken aloud.

So it is my position that if this woman cannot see that what I have to say is so valuable that she should be offering me a drink, then she is surely not capable of comprehending the incredible insight I am divulging. So I cease talking, shaking my head back and forth while giving her a little smile of acknowledgement to let her know I’m not interested in her sort of game. To accent my point I signal the bartender for one beer. No further words are necessary and she quietly moves on to graze on some other fellows green pastures.

Alone, I can now discuss the problems with modern women. I smile at my own resilience as I remind myself that we can drink twice as much for half the price now that she has departed. Cheers!